on to waR!

haiz.. suddenly lost my motivation to study over the weekends... dunno why.. muz be someone stole it!

actually.. i tink it's becuz when i got the motivation, things keep happening n breaks it... well... but i can't blame those things.. only can blame my bad time management... ><~

ok.. so i'm gonna go back to war!!!!! i muZ study! yeS!!!!!

i muz persevere.. n never giv up!!!! like a shinobi!~ hehe.. oh ya.. the cursor i make myself one.. nice? :X u muz be wonderin why i stil got so much time to do tis.. haiz.. cuz i feel like it.. ok.. i'll go n catch up on the lost time on work

spoilt tap...

not at my house... but up in the sky...

it has been pouring non stop... raining for days infact... not that i really hate the rain so much, but it really makes my life even more inconvienient... i hope God will hire a plumber soon... :X

My days are like the weather now... a moment bright and shiny, another moment black and gloomy... i wanted to write an entry yesterday but i was (actually, i still am.. but not that bad now..) so pissed off with my cs1102c practical exam that i think the entry would become more like a curse on the TA and that computer.... so i abolished the thought...

Nothing much happened to me these days except the super pissed me off incident yesterday. My frens(from NUS that is) are in about the same condition as weeks ago... hope the weekends will do them some good..

As for those CO peeps... i had to say, i think i reallie kinda neglected them... luckily there's such a thing call online diary / blog... else i would hav lost track wif their daily life :X

Looking forward to the end of exams already, but that means i gotta work... sheesh.. i hope they give me shifts such that i can still afford to go out and play.. :P

oh ya, new's update about hugo.... she's getting weaker day by day.... and has not eaten anything since yesterday... she's like suffering and there's nothing we could do... my sis's gonna bring her to the vet again. not sure if she will be put to sleep... but in a sense, if there is totally no cure and she's just awaiting death.. perhaps that's a less painful way out?

p.s. about the spoilt tap.. i meant it as a joke... please dun take it seriously

may hugo rest in peace...

hugo's gone...
the vet decided that it's best that she be put to sleep...

will miss her.... afterall, she has been part of my life for 10 years... and she actually witness both my sisters getting married

hmm...
wanted to say more.. but there's really too much to say about her... sort of gotten used to her being not ard.. but the house seems extra quiet now n less smelly :X

she's a really cute and naughty puppy when she came.. all black.. and my mom fed her until she overweight =.= n her fur changed colour... till silverish... eh... a sign of aging perhaps...

1st time i met her was the most unexpected... of cuz, my sister bot the dog w/o asking my mom (expected from my mom it'll be a straight NO to pets)... reach home, open the door, and one hyper active dog came charging at me.... yikeS! n she chased me around the house a couple of rounds until i climb up the chair... :S not that i'm afraid of dogs, but i always thought the theory "dogs wun chase u if u dun run" is true.. doesn't seem to apply to her.. well.. anyway...

too much to say. hahaa... and i'm still wondering when my sis wil get to collect her ash back... dunno where she's gonna put it?

will upload a pic of hugo.. when i hav the time :X

20 Questions to a Better Relationship

eXpressive: 7/10
Practical: 5/10
Physical: 2/10
Giver: 8/10


You are a XPIG--Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat. Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids. However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.

You are generous and kind. You think first and act later. You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals ("why can't we do what I want for a change?") they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.

You're a romantic. You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don't just fall into bed with anyone. You pay close attention to your significant other's needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner. The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn't necessarily make you feel under-appreciated -- you're too well-adjusted and self-aware for that -- but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.

Of all the types, you would make the best parent.

You are coiffed.

Didja see "Big Fish"? 'Cause you're like Ewan MacGregor in "Big Fish."

Of the 134459 people who have taken this quiz, 9.2 % are this type.

me like veri relaXed?

hmm, that's what yvonne commented abt me today :X

mebbe...??? dunno it's juz me getting numb.. or me getting used to it...? :X

there's still many things to tink of, to trouble... everyone's so bz... sometimes i felt neglected.. but then again, i tink i'm neglectin other ppl too.. :x

anyway, now i'm tryin not to stress myself over schoolwork... i'll try to make myself enjoy it... find some way.... enjoy it as tho i'm watchin animes... guess that'll be reallie good... infact.. too ideal.. haa.. idea situations dun happen :\

think tis sem reallie pretty bad... i hope next sem will be much better... now is like i go to school, and see frens beside me all worn out in some way or another... want to sleep but can't... quite a torture reallie...argh.. dunno wat to do... *worried*

oh ya, n i'm seeing less n less ppl... in lects.. :S wat happened?!

36 days to start of exams
ahhhh~~~~ so fasT~!~!!~!~!!!~~!!! O_O~!!

saw LighT?

hmm... i realised that i always hav the tendency to be inspired by the animes i watch / mangas i read...

the most recent anime i completed was gundam seed... it struck me of cuz... but in a sense, not practical to the situation i am in now i tink.. so not much of help :X

been going on routines of whining about life.... getting upset wif myself n school... yadda yadda.. felt so sad at times that i reallie felt like cryin but u noe what...

no tears came out...

(ok... as a girl... i tink i'm a failure here... my tears dun come at the right time reallie... i watch touching stuff i can cry, people scold me i also cry... but when i'm sad i dun... *darn!* or is it that i'm not reallie that sad? watever. )

anyway... now all thanks to omy.... i'm readin naruto.. quite an impressive plot altho the characters (majority) their looks are pretty much average... n i admire naruto's never givin up spirit..

well, guess i'll make my life easier if i just like whatever i'm doing.... yup.. so stardie hard!!! n play too :P

looking back~

was tryin to study for the EE2004...

dunno why, i seem to have lost the motivation i once have... probably it's becuz i've got sooo demoralised in NUS...

i dug up one of my earlier diaries... then suddenly remembered that i used to be so systematic... everyday, i'll list down all my homework, making sure i finish them asap... now, everything last minute or i never get them done anyway...

can't seem to change back, cause somehow, i hated that kind of systematic life... perhaps i lead my life in a sense, opposite... shld have played more back then and stay as systematic as in the past only now...

but come to think of it, i think everyone will dislike me if that's the case.. i'm quite a cold person back then.. haa.. weird rite..

geez.. i better go to bed.. gettin hungry

sinking... self destructing... slowly....

why can't i juz face the truth...

why did i land myself up like this anyway..?

monday~

today's quite a good day i must say... the mood is much more light-hearted though the workload has never decreased.

was on time for EE2005 tutorial today, and i think the first time that i was earlier than my tutor. :X anyway, i stil didn't manage to do my tutorial... still pretty clueless about transistors (freak!)

lecture today is swapped with EE2008, which i think in a sense is good as the topic is still on laplace, not something totally new :) the bad thing is, there's lots of copying to do... and not to mention the lecturer (Sada, or i don't know why, Prof Ben seems to call him, tHE Sada..?) wrote much of the stuff in red... had a hard time trying to make out what he squeezed all over the notes really and hence, much time is spent on squinting, wild guessing and copying rather than listening :X

observations of the day:
- &dru: still yawning at an increasing rate as time passes and still having the tendency of walking the wrong direction. and did i mention, his lameness level hasn't went down (well, but still not my opponent for today :P)

- jeff: had sorethroat... but still talking very much... bought a large pack of $1 worth of hacks candy for his sorethroat.. which really tickled me as the pack of sweets is really exaggerating (even &dru went 'O' when he saw it)... i commented that hacks is not useful against sorethroat... then jeff said why not and said that it's for coughs... and i pointed out that precisely... he's not havin a cough but a sorethroat! :X

- sf: have cough, possibly sorethroat too, and was suffering from gastric flu before that. was quite bad and she couldn't go around saying "hello" :X and visited the health and wellness centre again to see doc. she better take care of herself man.

after lunch theme:
EE2005 lab discussion>< ; chinese "kungfu" ; childhood games

my lab's tml, so listen and tried to contribute with my little understanding on transistors. the discussion is helpful though :)

chinese "kungfu"... now, how did we come to that topic? hmmm, oh ya, cause sf mentioned about her xiang2 long2 18 zhang3... then jeff mentioned that he knew a fren who ran very fast and hit people on the back really hard... so we named it "jiu3 ying1 bai2 gu3 zhang3" :X so i told them about gav's "yi4 yang2 zhi3" and sq's "yu4 nu4 jian4 fa3" :X
then sf proceeded on an attempt to "block &dru's acupuncture", and i warned her of immobolizing &dru and having to carrying him all the way to the lab.

childhood games:
-who stole the cookie from the cookie pot...
-shen4 dan4 lao3 ren2 (the "see who can freeze the longest" game)
-hide and seek (jeff being inspired by me n sf on this topic.. went to hide behind the door wif my laptop while i was in the ladies... :S thanks &dru for the hint :X)

lame joke of the day:
jeff: i really need to bring binoculars next time
me: ha... eh, what is best at seeing red ah? (i thought got some scope or something thats why i asked...)
jeff: a bull
me: ok, then we must bring bullseye next time :X

untimely urge

don't get me wrong, not the urge to go to the ladies, but the urge to do other stuff.

always felt like doing other stuff when i'm not free or not supposed to... :X

anyway, suddenly felt like i should do a bit of cooking... so bought some mushrooms n stir-fried them! yummY :D~~~ taste like what my mom always cooked.. hehe

argh.

today got test... again... tis time, cs1102c

gettin used to it le.. dunno good or bad.......

things r changing too fast.... can't predict wats gonna happen nxt le... feel so insecure...

anyway, was alone when i reach school... went to yih to eat abit... saw yanyi..chatted wif her awhile.. n thx for her gd luck.. yup.. en went to mpsh n saw audrey so joined her.. en sf came.. en the rest one by one... saw the grp b ppl finally.. haa like polar bear, zhengyang, zhengrong, annie etc... en i realised i can't see my own grp's ppl :S well, but still saw them eventuallie.. but din tok to most of them much :(

the test... i juz hope i did it correctly

after the test, dunno why tis time everyone dispersed... jeff disappeared after awhile.. cheewooi also left soon... en saw &dru n sf... en &dru left too en saw christina, sally, annie n qianyi..

merina.. left too.... the grp b ppl.. all zao liao also...

why this time everyone like disperse so fasT? :S test too easy? nuttin to discuss??

er.. anyway, went to do my ctw project after that.. went to sengkang wif omy(late.. sorry jasmine) en ask ppl to do survey for us.. door by door... ran into a rabbit that's not in it's cage n hoppin out of the box after we put it in again.. so we stuff it bak to the cage wif other rabbits in the end.. argh.. it's soooooo cute~~~!~!!~!!~!~~~~! *sobz* i missed my ole rabbit

haiz... en went to write the outline of our intro.. splitted the job up.. n went home.. did abit of housework (cuz mom went on holz wif my sistersssss)

now defragmentin my hdd.. was shocked at the amt of fragmented files.. muz be that matlab 7 :\ haiz.. now gotta wait.. tink i go fold the clothes le.

on the surface may look like a change.. but deep inside there isn't...

bZ school daE, lia's bdae, stay over, sleepy worlD

tue:
tutorials in the mornin... nearli got chased out of prof ang's class cuz his own students got no place to sit.. :x haiz... why they never change my tutor?!! he's not good lor.. haiz... en after tt went to bizad canteen for lunch wif &dru, sf n jh(joinin his gf again) tried the soup stall, overall grade (5.5 out of 10) :X i got salted veg soup.. en &dru got a yao shan dunno wat ji1 tang1... (he actuallie made a good effort to pronouce it :) )

&dru's soup too bland.. mine too salty.. haaha!
en went for lab after tt.. din hav much prob.. quite fun infact.. :P their printer jammed halfway tho.. end up i gotta help "fix" or rather, unjam the printer hahaa..
en pia home... n my mom made me eat some stuff..en pia dwn to CCK.. en met up wif jsim ey all, some were havin dinner.. then bot some stuff en headed to fajar lrt station, waited awhile for lia to come.. hee.. then went to her house...

her tv.. zai.. budden the shape abit not good..

xiaobai (lia's hamster) - veriiiiii cutE! veri tame reallie.. ahhhh~ *envies*

hahaa... en did wat everyone always do @ bdaes... en passed our time eatin.... n eating.. n eatin :S

more photos are on my fotoblog! http://eriolyuy.fotopages.com go see~~

played abit of bridge.. tried to study but can't.. so tried to go to slp..

had some nice yet horrible dream.. horrible cuz somehow i injured myself (w/o realisin until i saw losta blood at the back of my waist..) -_-

woke up.. feelin quite alrite... not that tired.. en had breakfast.. played daidee... en left to school.... was kinda late.... but earlier than the rest :X &dru... still sleepy... jeff... still @ his assignment :X looks like everyone din make much progress over the nite.. ahh.. nm... anyway, sorta survived the lect.. en went for lunch (3 of us plus sf, cheewooi n zf) .. budden &dru MIA after we bot our food n we all tot he fell Zzzed in the toilet... (hahaa.. but i did kinda figured that he met some fren n started another long conversation)

attended some charity tuition aid for cs1102c by prof tan but it's quite good.. n everyone was tryin to catch some winks before the lect started.. while i was on the net surfin off.. haa.. can't sleep in the lect hall properly.. cuz my backache's quite bad... haiz.. ole le..
yup.. after that en started discussin abt bigO stuff @ the canteen.. haha.. tink it's a long time since so many ppl sit dwn n discuss smthin together.. quite fun.. but confusin tho :X en took another foto! :D veri nice!
haaha.. happie.. oh ya, en we go macs eat ice cream.. en chatted en some of us left 1st... now i'm a mac's member :s tho i dun eat macs much.. but hee. got points... wun die :X

it's getting really hard to smile nowaday.
luckily, i'm not in the state of frowning all day. I still laugh, still smile, but somehow, just doesn't last as long.

looks like dear old mood swing is here to stay.

i'm starting to pick on my own problems again. pretty upset with myself...
why do i always restrict myself when i shouldn't?
why do i always fear stuff that other people normally don't?

even if problems are pointed out, i still make the same mistake... over... and over...

i fear loneliness... yet, in a sense, i'm used to loneliness... it's like stuck in the middle of it... not knowing to move front or back... not opening up is not because i don't trust people... i think i trust people quite easily infact... yet, i always got the notion that i'm troubling people with nonsense when they're busy enough on their own

everything's like stuck in the middle... not say good.. nor issit reallie that bad... but things seems to go stale n stagnant like these sometimes... suffocating :S

slained twice today

by econs n electronics...

econs... too many careless mistake... if mrs low were to see my paper, she sure wack me on the head ><~

electronics... tis one even more jialat... i noe how to do the 1st question one.. but onli found out that i did wrongly when i'm abt to go onto the 2nd question (the whole quiz onli got 2 qns).. so.... went back n changed my ans.. then qn 2 got stuck... brain pretty dead to tink properly.. argh.. buang le..

hmmm... anyway, aside from that, today's not that a bad dae..

mornin, zhuofeng came to find me to discuss our econs test.. en i went for mine... then when i came out he went for his (diff timeslot..) so waited for him lor... since stil got another same test.. then saw zhiliang.. chatted wif him... n he somehow managed to convince me that he's not the usual slackin arts student.. lined up wif 10 projects tis sem.. i reallie salute him.

then zl left.. zf came.. n went dwn to yih to eat.. since our paper wil be @ mpsh1 (that dreaded place.. well, actuallie, now i beginnin not to hate that place so much le.. :X) en saw junming while havin lunch.. he looks veri tired too... n he's in school to do proj! gosh... yr 1 onli leh.. :S nm..
en went to the study room @ yih to study.. en saw jinghow studyin alone.. haa.. so went to kajiao him.. he asked me questions.. then i realised that i'm not even there yet.. ><~ die.. so went to mug.. wif a pack of m&ms wif the hope of cheerin myself up... nxt time muz bring better chocos.. m&ms dun seem to do the trick much... but i guess it helps abit..

then dunno how long later jeff finally arrived.. then got more questions to question.. ahaha.. so started discussin.. er... ok.. then went back to panick mode... n finally dragged ourselves dwn to mpsh1...saw cheewooi.. then looked for sf cuz she say got qn to ask mi? budden i realised that even if she had asked.. i most prob can't ans.... en saw &dru, chris, merina n chuixia n zf i tink.. so went over... den dunno wat ey're tokin abt... so i tried to squeeze some last min info into my brain... den the dreadful door opened ><~ n i made another last attempt in tryin to remember the formula for difference amplifier.. er.. tink it's -(R2/R1)V1 + [(1+ R2/R1)/(1+R3/R4)]V2... den &dru turned back to take another glance @ tis formula toO... haa.. budden in the end.. had to derive it all over... cuz they added new components in @.@

after the test, we all started discussin the solutions.... i tried not to listen sometimes.. cuz i juz wanna live in a state of denial for time being.. but was darn glad that cheewooi got the same ans as mi.. hope i get qn 1 all rite at least... qianyi came over too.. i as i predicted she sure done everythin.. ahaa.. she's soooo smart... but she seem to hav quite abit of health related prob.. 1st i tink she got flu or smthin? then got rashes... then now she eyes swollen.. hope she gets better :
en the after exam discussion topic: hair... :S all started wif shengfang askin why &dru dyed his hair.. he actuallie dyed it before the filmin for his mno Zapp video... haa.. supposed to be joe mode.. (i spe the lead actor? *shrugz*) n i tink his role's abit weird.. dunno why he's a flasher.. then also a chef.. then in 12 dimension.. but i wanna watch!!! esp the scene where ey throw paos @ an "ole lady" :X so now i wanna get all ppl who did mno to show me their video.. hee.. tink it'll be interestin to see ur own frens act :P i've watch zf's one alreadi.. quite good :)

hmmm.. tink that's abt for the day.. tiring day... n the xi3 yuan1 lu4 II finally finished! yey! happie endin! i like

rainy season...

rain...

something that i really have mixed feelings about...

i hate rain: it makes my things wet... and has the potential of spoiling my stuff.. esp my lappy n spoil a nice outdoor plan for the day

i like rain: it brings some fond memories back...
and i've stopped bringing umbrellas... it weighs my bag down... dun like... i dun like keeping wet umbrellas... n more importantly, i tink it's becuz i've grew to rely on ppl who bring umbrellas.. :X

hmm... dunno wat else to say le... got many things on my mind... my mind doesn't wanna even tink abt them... so pls forgive me if i start sprouting nonsense... need sometime for my brain to sort out.. hopefully soon...

i find my sense of self through other people....

a whole day @ NUS... n poor hugo! *sobz*

spend almost the whole day @ nus... went to get back my ezlink card fr Mr. Tan. :)

then stayed in EA-06-13 for the whole day... meiyee n jas came.. discussed our proj.. n left... i'm quite proud of myself for being able to finish 3 hrs of webcast tho :)

hmmm.. reach home n realised that my sis finally took hugo to the vet... but reel bad news came when she came back...

hugo's suffering from kidney failure...

it's quite serious.. but there's still a chance she can be treated if she recovers within 2 days (currently being hospitalised.).. if not.. the vet advice us to put her to sleep... :(

but even if she survive, she can't eat meat... (i tink she'll most prob go on a food strike cuz she's such a meat lover...)

in the 1st place... hope she wun freak out @ the hospital n die of fright *touchwood*

chopped my hair~

cut it short n layered n thin..... well, din turn out bad i tot..

why i cut my hair? well, it's becuz i got some chi4 ji1..... then after tt tot i mite be for the better, else i can always grow it back.. no harm done.. so yup. cUT!

after that, went out for badminton session wif the AS gang again.. shall be continued on the fotoblog @
http://eriolyuy.fotopages.com

rotten to average

my grade for programming. crap.. i actuallie din sleep one whole day juz bcuz of it.. well, the questions r reallie reallie tough...

however, reallie glad to have many helping hands for tis aside from my "personal" lab TA - polar bear.. heee.. always troubled him to help check my codes.. hope i'm not growing reliant on him.. but tis weeks one turn out he din help that much too cuz it's too hard..! well, for tis week's lab surprisingly, i was discussin it more wif jeff... haa.. he noes the algo but i'm better at implementation... we shld teach each other.. on thurs (da veri day that i din slp) did the lab wif jinghow... altho we made no progress... :X and as usual, jinghow's crapping @ lunch n almost overturned me n &dru's appetite (due to the stuff we're eating.. )

oh well.. prof hugh reallie made a big kill wif tis lab.. i wonder how bad it will be in future ><~

sleepy heAds -_-zzZzzz

hmmm... went to sleep @ 1am... so tot i shld wake up @ 5am to try n complete my cs1102c tutorial.. well, i did wake up... but kinda fell back asleep n overslept.. argh.. late!

ironically, it's like u c more ppl when u're late.. :X i saw ruijie, my ajco jnr.. learnt tt she in Sci fac now... en saw christina n merina..

well, tutorials is.. either rushed or boring.. en i hou4 zhe4 lian3 pi2 to go n chap &dru's class for cs1102c.. his tutor reaLLiE VERI niCE~~~ ahhh~ *envies* felt reel bad... en found out that there's other grp of ppl chappin their class aside fr us.. er.. today plus jh n sf smmore.. luckily got enuff chairs.. but not tables tho :S

hmmmm... went for lunch @ bizad again wif sf, jh n &dru after tt (jh joined his gf :s) ... &dru's reallie tired... he seh until he went walkin in the wrong direction.. n things like took so much more times longer to process in his brain... haiz.. i tink he shld nt neglect his sleep like tis... not gd.. smmore tis week got assessed lab :X (wait till engin day man.. i tink all the ece ppl will be half dead) same for the rest also.. but they dun seem to be that seh le...? :? reallie tink tis sem veri xiong.. it's like even &dru's tis tired... (as compared to past sems.. it has never been tis bad? )

back to the lunch.. the queue @ bizad reallie long lor.. haiz... everything long n slow.. was tinkin of the shortest queue.. budden dunno wat's so good abt that stall? (except for their normal noodles? er.. ok lar.. on the whole so-so) so went to queue @ western food.. aidi's @ the end of the queue.. so chatted wif her all the way.. en realised smthing... i never reallie chatted wif her properly b4? :X i tink :X oh.. then tis guy came behind me n ask if we're queuein for western food.. so i said shld b.. en aidi asked the lady infront of her... then she said she suppose so? At that point of time, we realised that half of the ppl at the back of the queue dun reallie noe what queue that's for -_-; haa... so ordered 2 fish n chip.. i'm amazed wif the uncle reallie.. he ask nxt until the end of the queue.. which is stil pretty far back... finally made it back wif the fish n chips :X then i remembered that i got cough n shldn't eat that :X

oh ya... then sf took some fotos wif &dru's cam again... :S i tink &dru's gonna be so bz if he were to send all the fotos we took daily.. (but i wonder how many r not lost durin the syncro wif his comp :X) er... i can't imagine when sf got her cam.. she mite end up juz takin foto everyday... actuallie tt's what i wan also... but paiseh :S

yup.. anyway, went to lib after they went for their mno tutorial.. slept abit.. read abit.. finished my assignment... then went pc cluster at E2 ard 3plus... stayed till ard 430 then i left :X

came home... zzzZzZed even more..

hmmmm...

tis entry will be @ http://eriolyuy.fotopages.com :X